So our genius next-in-line to the throne thinks that McDonald’s should be banned.

I would be annoyed with this anyway, but what’s worse is that people have said he should be listened to as it’s an area he knows about. Yeah, like he’s often spotted ordering a Sausage and Egg McMuffin as a Sunday morning treat. Fair enough if you eat 50 Happy Meals a week, you may not be in the best of health, but I’m sure Prince Charles would do himself some damage if he wore 50 kilts at the same time.

He has his Prince’s Trust and is forever going on about opportunities for young people and jobs and training for them. How many young people does McDonald’s employ? More than his fair trade organic tofu suppliers I suspect.

My health would improve by an order of magnitude if we could beat Australia to the punch and get rid of the royal family and maybe introduce Denny’s over here. Charlie boy could do with one of their All American Slam breakfasts.

After an hour swim tonight, I went for my regular reward of a quiet 20 minutes to myself in the steam room of the gym. I call it a gym as it sounds less sissy, but technically it is a spa. So it does have sauna, steam room, massage rooms and treatments. Not that I go in for any of that stuff. Seriously. An hour with seaweed plastered round my head isn’t going to make much difference.

Anyways, I was minding my own business in the steam room when these three 13 year old girls come in (I’m guessing 13 as they looked about 18 which probably means they were more like 13). I’m not normally nosey, but if you’re in a steam room, it’s pretty much impossible not to hear everyone else’s conversation. So here’s how it went:

“Cool, this was the perfect way to spend the day Detoxing.” (Detoxing?! They’re 13 what are they detoxing from? Never mind that, what are 13 year olds doing even spending the day in a Spa?)

“Yeah and that kick boxing instructor is well fit.”

“Yeah totally, especially when he was getting all hot and sweaty” (What? Is this like junior Sex In The City)

“So do you still have that problem with Anton?”

“Yeah, he’s still stalking me, he just wont leave me alone.”

“Didn’t he ask you out though?”

“Yeah, I said yeah, I mean his dad does have a yacht and a place in Sardinia.”

I think I’m getting old, or poor, or something. That’s not how I remember being 13.

The Lancashire Hotpots makes me realise how soft my accent has become after eight years down South. Chippy Tea is probably the best song I’ve listened to today.

Why does every song Timbaland is involved with sound so completely filthy? I’m stuck on repeat with Give It To Me this weekend.

Timbaland, Timberlake and Furtado, sounds like a legal firm. Also sounds fantastic.

Ian used to have this thing were he would only ever buy CDs with the parental guidance stickera on the front. I’m not sure what he would have done if he’d been trying to find a Martha Wainwright song and seen this.

Somehow it just doesn’t seem right that track 5 doesn’t get a little ‘explicit’ label.